Love and Food in the Big D

Friday, July 15, 2011

Snort Laughing...

So I realize I skipped right over Part 3 of our European Adventures in the Making Series..but, fret not dear friends.. it's a-coming.  ;)  I just thought you could use a good morning laugh on this glorious Friday ;)  You're WELCOME!  ;)  Read on. 

Have you ever read something that was so off-the-wall-funny, that you actually SNORTED?!?  lol.. I'm not sure if it was the time of day?...the time of the month?... or maybe it really IS...THAT funny?  Whatever the case may be, I was dying when I read this...WHILE I was on the elliptical no less.. risking life and limb as I laughed my A$$ off.  :)  How could I NOT share??  Even Chad was dying of laughter when he read it.. like, CRY-laughing type stuff!  It was most likely a combination of seeing how hard I was laughing (AGAIN!!)...and me repeating things from the post in funny voices.  :)  Either way, This girl's freakin' hilarious.  So thanks Penguino for sharing this on your facebook page... I'm now addicted to The Bloggess.  :) 

And that's why you should learn to pick your battles...

This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.

Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, “You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you“. And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.

Laura: I think you need one of those.

me: You’re joking, but they’re kind of horrifically awesome.

Laura: I’m not joking. We need to buy you one.

me: The 5-foot tall one was $300, marked down to $100. That’s like, $200 worth of chicken for free.

Laura: You’d be crazy not to buy that. I mean, look at it. IT’S FULL OF WHIMSY.

me: Victor’d be pissed.

Laura: Yup.

me: But on the plus side? It’s not towels.

Laura: Yup.

me: We will name him Henry. Or Charlie. Or O’Shannesy.

Laura: Or Beyoncé.

me: Or Beyoncé. Yes. And when our friends are sad we can leave him at their front door to cheer them up.

Laura: Exactly. It’ll be like, “You thought *yesterday* was bad? Well, now you have a enormous metal chicken to deal with. Perspective. Now you have it.”

Then we flagged down a salesman, and we were all “What can you tell us about these chickens?”, as if we were in an art gallery, and not in a store that specializes in last years’ bathmats. He didn’t know anything about them, but he said that they’d only only sold one and it was to a really drunk lady, and then Laura and I were all “SOLD. All this chicken belongs to us now.”

Oh, but WAIT... it get's better!..

Read more of this post on her actual blog... 
The Bloggess

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